As a father of a 5 year old and 21-month old, I do not get the barrage of parent-tech advertising that moms do, so I was not aware of some of these products. I can't imagine needing an app to tell me when my kid is sleepy. However, after initially dismissing it, I came to love the Owlet! Nobody tells you that newborns don't breathe as rhythmically as the rest of us, so it was nice to have the app to assure us that their vitals were good - especially when ill (of course, it was also a potent defense against SIDS). Otherwise, we use dumb video or audio monitors.
My son is getting old enough to go outside on his own, but we've given him a walkie-talkie as a way to give him a degree of independence while still providing a lifeline for both parent and child. I hear about parents tracking their teenagers and even their kids at college through apps and I'm horrified.
As with nearly all tech at this point, we have to put in the work to discern what truly adds value from the stuff that, at best, is unnecessary, and at worst, feeds unhealthy habits, feelings, and dependencies.
Mothering replacing fathering. It is killing civilization.
I love my dear departed mother and my still alive and kicking wife. But if the two of them had dominated the parenting of the children after they hit about 15 years old, then the boys in the family would never have grown to the well-functioning strong men that we are.
Here is the fact pattern.
Females from evolutionary biology and general biology are wired to relate to children because their primary role has been to gestate and then raise children... young children. This makes females prone to both more infantile and childish impulses and behaviors and also causes them to be like children in their natural craving for being cared for.
But moving to adult the shift to craving care to giving care should happen.
It happens when females give birth. In that moment most of them shift from child to mother.
But mothers are supposed to care for the young children. Fathers are supposed to take over and take care of the older children. The lessons of the mother are care, nurturing, unconditional love and endless empathy and second chances. The lessons of the father are hard-work, responsibility, consequences, etc. The mother teaches care from others. The father teaches self-sufficiency and self-care.
When the mother holds on to the responsibility for the older children... basically cutting out the father's authority... the children end up stunted in term of their self-sufficiency and self-care capability. They don't get the responsibility and accountability requirement. The expect to be constantly helped, supported, bailed out and to live a softer life of comfort without the stress of normal life struggle.
It is the shift to a matriarchy and female dominance of the household that has led to this constant monitoring shift. Young people are not as resilient and self-sufficient as they have been. It is a doom loop as their lack of capability results in even more mothering and monitoring, and their adult development gets stunted even into their advanced years.
My parents never addended any of my sporting practices and few of the games. They did not hover over me for my schoolwork. They never got involved in my jobs and my career. My wife wanted to call my son's commanding officer one year when he was denied leave for the holidays. I stopped her from doing that. It is natural for mothers to want to mother. However, mothering adults is a mistake, and it has led to generations of weak, lazy, soft adult-age children that cannot cope with struggle and stress and expect others to mother them until their grave.
As a father of a 5 year old and 21-month old, I do not get the barrage of parent-tech advertising that moms do, so I was not aware of some of these products. I can't imagine needing an app to tell me when my kid is sleepy. However, after initially dismissing it, I came to love the Owlet! Nobody tells you that newborns don't breathe as rhythmically as the rest of us, so it was nice to have the app to assure us that their vitals were good - especially when ill (of course, it was also a potent defense against SIDS). Otherwise, we use dumb video or audio monitors.
My son is getting old enough to go outside on his own, but we've given him a walkie-talkie as a way to give him a degree of independence while still providing a lifeline for both parent and child. I hear about parents tracking their teenagers and even their kids at college through apps and I'm horrified.
As with nearly all tech at this point, we have to put in the work to discern what truly adds value from the stuff that, at best, is unnecessary, and at worst, feeds unhealthy habits, feelings, and dependencies.
Mothering replacing fathering. It is killing civilization.
I love my dear departed mother and my still alive and kicking wife. But if the two of them had dominated the parenting of the children after they hit about 15 years old, then the boys in the family would never have grown to the well-functioning strong men that we are.
Here is the fact pattern.
Females from evolutionary biology and general biology are wired to relate to children because their primary role has been to gestate and then raise children... young children. This makes females prone to both more infantile and childish impulses and behaviors and also causes them to be like children in their natural craving for being cared for.
But moving to adult the shift to craving care to giving care should happen.
It happens when females give birth. In that moment most of them shift from child to mother.
But mothers are supposed to care for the young children. Fathers are supposed to take over and take care of the older children. The lessons of the mother are care, nurturing, unconditional love and endless empathy and second chances. The lessons of the father are hard-work, responsibility, consequences, etc. The mother teaches care from others. The father teaches self-sufficiency and self-care.
When the mother holds on to the responsibility for the older children... basically cutting out the father's authority... the children end up stunted in term of their self-sufficiency and self-care capability. They don't get the responsibility and accountability requirement. The expect to be constantly helped, supported, bailed out and to live a softer life of comfort without the stress of normal life struggle.
It is the shift to a matriarchy and female dominance of the household that has led to this constant monitoring shift. Young people are not as resilient and self-sufficient as they have been. It is a doom loop as their lack of capability results in even more mothering and monitoring, and their adult development gets stunted even into their advanced years.
My parents never addended any of my sporting practices and few of the games. They did not hover over me for my schoolwork. They never got involved in my jobs and my career. My wife wanted to call my son's commanding officer one year when he was denied leave for the holidays. I stopped her from doing that. It is natural for mothers to want to mother. However, mothering adults is a mistake, and it has led to generations of weak, lazy, soft adult-age children that cannot cope with struggle and stress and expect others to mother them until their grave.