There are TWO economies, one based on money, and the other on sweat equity. If you are smart, you will optimize spending your sweat equity on raising your children, not money. There is no amount of money that will provide a better long-term return in your relations with your children than you spending your own time.
I recently retired, and was thrown immediately into the world of sweat equity work caring for other family members, maintaining things, volunteering, and so on. The sweat equity economy is easily just as large -- and just as valuable -- as the money economy.
Some of the issues associated with parenting, especially for Boomers who were told they could "have it all," are daunting. Distilling it down to a psychological essence though might yield the odds of taking on such an enormous responsibility. Couple it with a willingness, or not, to do so still ignores the human factor. There are plenty of parents who understand the risks; work within them; and still yield people who don't measure up to understanding what a sacrifice Mom and Dad made. That's the gamble. We are all flawed. How well we deal with those flaws goes a long way in personal resolution of acceptance of such a variable undertaking.
I have raised a bunch of kids and they have always been the joy of my life! I feel bad for the people who think that raising kids is "expensive" when the payoff is really much greater than money or time used experiencing them as they grow. Each time one of your children tries something - say, tasting a strawberry for the first time - you experience the wonder you felt when you tasted it so long ago.
We raised 5 children. All graduating from college. One day a friend casually mentioned that they were surprised that we didn't have fine art on the walls or wore more expensive clothing and jewelry. I was kinda hurt until I realized that we had invested our money in our children's education, from Montessori private preschool to private elementary/high schools , classes in art, music, theater, and private colleges along with extensive traveling all around the country each summer. We saved our money to give them what we weren't given...opportunities to learn. They are all financially independent and good people. Great investment. No regrets and don't miss the art, clothes, or jewelry a bit!
Janie Cheaney recently wrote a piece for WORLD that explored the cost of a child vs. the worth of a child. I think of her wisdom now everytime I read about the cost of child raising. Children have great worth, no matter the cost.
The Wall Street Journal lens is permanently fixed on the financial. For WSJ writers, children (and all other things) are evaluated economically: "when most families lived on farms, children were profit centers, but today they've become cost centers, and that explains why people aren't having children." Viola... Culture? Religion? Peer pressure? Nah... it's all about money, man.
Homo economicus is as real to the WSJ as he is to Tyler Cohen and the economists.
I agree. We always feel we could have done more. Watching them grow, have their own children, and become citizens that contribute positively to society is a wonderful reward. Also, receiving their love and appreciation is a blessing that is indescribable.
I am puzzled by "happiness" being one of the gold standards for making these judgments. When all is said and done, happiness is a brief feeling that one gets sometimes as a byproduct of investment in various things that can be important in life. But happiness is short and ephemeral. I do not come across people who are "blissed out." Some have more prolonged senses of satisfaction than others.
I write for no other reason than to spur thought. Those thoughts take a variety of forms. I just published a short piece, packed with important thoughts for current and future parents. I’d love to connect with others over thoughts/feedback.
I wonder if the article was intended for those people who always comment, whenever an article mentions economic strain in families, “you shouldn’t have had kids if you couldn’t afford them.” As long as that is an even remotely acceptable thing to say about a human life, we will be in a tough spot. And it is frequently those on the right penning such dangerous rubbish. And also Itis important to go into the economic choices of parenthood clear eyed - my cutting back on my career for my children, I sacrificed college savings. We were willing to “pay” for a certain kind of family life as long as we could manage it - and it was a wonderful foundation for us. As for the price of parenting though … what is life for? We give our own youth and life to our beloveds, we participate in God’s creation - we lose our life to gain Life
Some of the issues associated with parenting, especially for Boomers who were told they could "have it all," are daunting. Distilling it down to a psychological essence though might yield the odds of taking on such an enormous responsibility. Couple it with a willingness, or not, to do so still ignores the human factor. There are plenty of parents who understand the risks; work within them; and still yield people who don't measure up to understanding what a sacrifice Mom and Dad made. That's the gamble. We are all flawed. How well we deal with those flaws goes a long way in personal resolution of acceptance of such a variable undertaking.
There are TWO economies, one based on money, and the other on sweat equity. If you are smart, you will optimize spending your sweat equity on raising your children, not money. There is no amount of money that will provide a better long-term return in your relations with your children than you spending your own time.
I recently retired, and was thrown immediately into the world of sweat equity work caring for other family members, maintaining things, volunteering, and so on. The sweat equity economy is easily just as large -- and just as valuable -- as the money economy.
Some of the issues associated with parenting, especially for Boomers who were told they could "have it all," are daunting. Distilling it down to a psychological essence though might yield the odds of taking on such an enormous responsibility. Couple it with a willingness, or not, to do so still ignores the human factor. There are plenty of parents who understand the risks; work within them; and still yield people who don't measure up to understanding what a sacrifice Mom and Dad made. That's the gamble. We are all flawed. How well we deal with those flaws goes a long way in personal resolution of acceptance of such a variable undertaking.
I have raised a bunch of kids and they have always been the joy of my life! I feel bad for the people who think that raising kids is "expensive" when the payoff is really much greater than money or time used experiencing them as they grow. Each time one of your children tries something - say, tasting a strawberry for the first time - you experience the wonder you felt when you tasted it so long ago.
We raised 5 children. All graduating from college. One day a friend casually mentioned that they were surprised that we didn't have fine art on the walls or wore more expensive clothing and jewelry. I was kinda hurt until I realized that we had invested our money in our children's education, from Montessori private preschool to private elementary/high schools , classes in art, music, theater, and private colleges along with extensive traveling all around the country each summer. We saved our money to give them what we weren't given...opportunities to learn. They are all financially independent and good people. Great investment. No regrets and don't miss the art, clothes, or jewelry a bit!
Janie Cheaney recently wrote a piece for WORLD that explored the cost of a child vs. the worth of a child. I think of her wisdom now everytime I read about the cost of child raising. Children have great worth, no matter the cost.
The Wall Street Journal lens is permanently fixed on the financial. For WSJ writers, children (and all other things) are evaluated economically: "when most families lived on farms, children were profit centers, but today they've become cost centers, and that explains why people aren't having children." Viola... Culture? Religion? Peer pressure? Nah... it's all about money, man.
Homo economicus is as real to the WSJ as he is to Tyler Cohen and the economists.
I don't regret one minute spent raising my kids.
I only regret the minutes I should have spent!
I agree. We always feel we could have done more. Watching them grow, have their own children, and become citizens that contribute positively to society is a wonderful reward. Also, receiving their love and appreciation is a blessing that is indescribable.
I am puzzled by "happiness" being one of the gold standards for making these judgments. When all is said and done, happiness is a brief feeling that one gets sometimes as a byproduct of investment in various things that can be important in life. But happiness is short and ephemeral. I do not come across people who are "blissed out." Some have more prolonged senses of satisfaction than others.
True happiness is not a brief feeling, it is a constant
People do not become adults until they have family responsibilities.
I write for no other reason than to spur thought. Those thoughts take a variety of forms. I just published a short piece, packed with important thoughts for current and future parents. I’d love to connect with others over thoughts/feedback.
https://substack.com/@secondprinciples/note/p-176360747?r=755xv&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=notes-share-action
I wonder if the article was intended for those people who always comment, whenever an article mentions economic strain in families, “you shouldn’t have had kids if you couldn’t afford them.” As long as that is an even remotely acceptable thing to say about a human life, we will be in a tough spot. And it is frequently those on the right penning such dangerous rubbish. And also Itis important to go into the economic choices of parenthood clear eyed - my cutting back on my career for my children, I sacrificed college savings. We were willing to “pay” for a certain kind of family life as long as we could manage it - and it was a wonderful foundation for us. As for the price of parenting though … what is life for? We give our own youth and life to our beloveds, we participate in God’s creation - we lose our life to gain Life
Some of the issues associated with parenting, especially for Boomers who were told they could "have it all," are daunting. Distilling it down to a psychological essence though might yield the odds of taking on such an enormous responsibility. Couple it with a willingness, or not, to do so still ignores the human factor. There are plenty of parents who understand the risks; work within them; and still yield people who don't measure up to understanding what a sacrifice Mom and Dad made. That's the gamble. We are all flawed. How well we deal with those flaws goes a long way in personal resolution of acceptance of such a variable undertaking.